What was that much maligned…and justifiably so, phrase of Al Gore’s? “An Incontinent Truth”? No. “Inconvenient Truth.” Yes, that’s it. Well, it could well apply to the missus…and all women in general. They will stuff garbage in the garbage can until it overflows without a moment’s thought, that perhaps they should remove the overflowing liner bag, and put in another.  And, no, this is not a guy thing. In this past century, women have taken charge of everything, so they might as well handle the garbage when garbage needs to be handled. Why, you may ask, is this skill necessary when able bodied men are about to do the work? I do not have the answer. I just ask the question, which I fear will go unanswered.  

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Self abridgment:

I prefer Books on Tape to the bound paper versions, and listen to them while traveling from home to work. Today’s preferred audio messenger is the disc, but some B.O.T. s are still produced in audio cassette form. One  such is a P.D. James thriller “A Taste  for Death”. Although the tapes were conventional in appearance on one side…they were all plastic on the other. Do you follow? No little window on the back side which indicates how much tape is left after partial listening? Clever that I am, I assumed they were designed to be played on only one side. So I listened to about half  the entire series of cassettes…struggling to follow the story line, until it dawned on me that the tapes were indeed designed to be played on both sides! Good Lord! No wonder some of the characters were niggardly fleshed out…so to speak. Imagine, if you will, reading only every other paragraph of “I Say”. No big deal, you say? You routinely skip paragraphs of Daily News columnist, why not mine?

 Oh, calamity! Death where is thou sting?

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Avid fan…some might say rabid fan, C. Larimer of far off North Dakota,

after reading my name dropping effort of last week titled “near proximity”…which he correctly, but without pity, points out is a redundant phrase, responded with a 700 word tract of his list of greats he has met or at least viewed over the last half century. He even enlisted wife Betsy into the fray with her list! Whereas he named or 70 or so famous figures, I asked him to pair it down to 6, for brevity. He responded with Kim Novak, Leo Gorcey, Tug McGraw, Joan Baez, Billy Martin and rodeo great Larry Mahan but omitted DN Editor C. Chip Thompson from said list.

            Well, it is indeed an impressive list, but as I started it, I must parry his thrusts and claim victory. To his Kim Novak, I give you my conversation with Janet Leigh high atop a ski run at Sun Valley. Leo Gorcey? I have chatted with the little fellow, as did everyone else in Los Molinos.  Tug McGraw and Billy Martin? I climbed into our tree house at the ranch with Giants 1^st baseman J.T. Snow and his son Sean.  Joan Baez? My daughter Madalyn interviewed Mel Torme for a T.V. Biography. Larry Mahan? I filmed Slim Pickens, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Rex Allen and Max Baer for a Bull Sale promotional years ago. The icing on the cake is one night in Ess Eff, the missus was on stage with Dame Edna!     Are we done?

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Last week’s quiz was answered by L. Merry. Whereas we both agreed Vina is the shortest named town in Tehama County, she topped my Ponderosa sky Ranch with Rancho Tehama Reserve being the longest!

            This week’s quiz: Milton, in “Paradise Lost” gave Satan’s Capital a name. What was it? What were the two cities of Dickens’ “Tale of Two Cities?” and what is unusual about this sentence: “Was it a car or a cat I saw?”

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             A Georgia State Trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75. The trooper asked, “Got any I.D.?”

The driver replied, “Bout whut?”

(To respond to this website: rminchandmurray@hotmail.com)

            Sources say nothing is forever… that people and places vanish before our eyes. Therefore it is appropriate to occasionally speak of city lots, which remain to this day, but often in altered shape and circumstance. I’m thinking specifically of 628… and 635 Rio Street.

            90 years ago, 9 August 1919 to be precise, a children’s playground at 628 Rio was dedicated. It was presented to the City of Red Bluff by Edward F. Kraft…and has been known as the Kraft Playground ever since. It has long been dismantled…but in its day, featured, along the Rio street side, very tall galvanized poles holding slides, swings, vertical and horizontal bars and roman rings. In the center of the playground was a horizontal ladder with steps at either end, and along the south side, a series of free swinging rings that, given enough stamina and arm strength, one could swing to the end and back. On the north side were 6 metal swings that could be “pumped” by riders to scary heights. A sand box and drinking fountains capped off the facility, along with a long metal bench serving as a manager’s office and first aid department, with Hattie Lingshied in charge. Everything on the premises, including Mrs. Lingscheid, was made to last…but didn’t. Times changed, liability became a big issue, insurance wise, and today the playground is a vacant lot still adorned with massive granite pillars at the entrance…and sloping walk ways to the main level and river side level below.

            My folks hired Contractor Walter Ternsted, in 1937, to build a house on a vacant lot across from the Playground at 635 Rio…said lot directly across the alley from Minch Market at 632 Main. It was therefore inevitable that sister and I could be found on long summer evenings working diligently on the various equipment suffering cuts and bruises and at least one broken collar bone.  It was a second home for us in those days long gone. Our front yard overlooked the playground, allowing mother a vantage point to keep an eye on us. She would do so while sitting on a metal swing which she diligently painted white every season.

            The missus and I still sit on that same swing, now out at our ranch four miles east of the Rio Street site. The swing has endured, so far, as have sister and her brother.

            “The common people, who, in any difficult crisis…ever look for relief to strange and extravagant rather than to reasonable things.’

            The above quotation was written by Plutarch 2000 years ago, but could have been written just as truly about people of today.

            In the last 10 years since conditions adjusted themselves from the easy-money days, there have been advanced many strange schemes to help us out of our “difficult crisis”

            First the Republicans came out with slogan in newspapers and bill boards: “Spend more…spend us back to prosperity “. Then came the New Deal with its many fantastic ideas, including destroying little pigs and growing crops in order to feed hungry people. These were followed by the Townsend Plan, Sinclair Plan, Ham and Eggs Plan etc. without end.

            But did you ever hear one of our leaders advance the reasonable thing, which was to work harder, longer hours, and save and invest our savings? If we had followed this plan, we would have ended our depression and unemployment years ago.

            The world has not changed so much in 2000 years.

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            We read about the fast pace of our living nowadays and I am inclined to believe it is true. Most of us are spending our lives fighting time, a battle we can’t win. We get up in the morning and drive to work as fast as we can whether there is a need of it or not. We eat in a hurry and hurry back to work. We hurry through the days and years and do not get half the enjoyment out of living that we should. I believe that continual hurrying may not be the best way to make money as well as not the best way to enjoy life.”

Dave Minch 1900-1964

(Editor’s Note: And yet he led a “hurrying”  life to the very end.)

            Grandfather Benjamin Franklin Minch, 1869-1936, was a New Jersey farmer and budding poet when informed by a doctor that he had consumption…and must move to a drier climate, or die. He, his wife and 7 children moved to California in 1918, but his health never improved to the extent that he could do farm  work again, so, while his family toiled to make ends meet, he passed his days reading and writing poetry.

            Early in his life, in 1901, he located Chronicle Print, a vanity press, that published a slim volume of 46 of his poems, originally published in “The Philosophian Review of South Jersey Institute titled “Floral Beauty”.  One such poem follows herewith:

“Somewhere, love, the skies are brighter, and with undiminished light,

Luna sheds a tender radiance o’er the gathered hosts of night.

Somewhere, love, like precious jewels blaze the starry suns, that seem

In that clear transparent region, em’rald, ruby, sapphire’s gleam.

Somewhere, love, in gayer plumage, birds ‘mid tropic forests sing;

Flitting forth from light to shadow, living rainbows on the wing.

Somewhere, love, in floral beauty, blooms an earthly paradise;

There all colors blend, all perfumes through successive seasons rise.

Happy they who forth may wander, where the skies appear more bright;

But thrice blessed those, who rather find in Home their chief delight.”

            Nice work, Ben.

             Why are we obsessed with having close proximity to the rich and famous?  Are our lives enriched by being cheek by jowl with somebody high on the charts?

            A little college in Northern California invited the nation’s First Lady to attend their graduation ceremony…and had to fill up the football stadium with chairs to accommodate the overflow crowd.  Attendees will achieve little more than a long distance photo op…or may luck out and find themselves on a railed- off walkway…and be able to reach out and touch her if she strolls by.

            So, we either get up close to celebrity…or we collect souvenirs proving that we were almost there.  Weird, what?

            I am not immune to this phenomenon. I have in my office an Ess Eff 49er Cap autographed by wide receiver great Jerry Rice. I have never met the chap, but related to someone who has…and they got the cap for me. I am therefore, once removed from Mr. Rice. If I am not a talented athlete, I am pretty darn close to one.  You want more proof of my proximities? Sure.

            I met Joe Dimaggio in the Men’s Restroom at a Country Club in Ess Eff. I was there with V. McKale, a client and club member.  Joe walked in while we were washing our hands prior to lunch.  Vernon, said, “Joe…I’d like you to meet my friend and broker from Red Bluff…Mr. Minch. Robert Minch.”

            Joe said, “…uh…have you seen my car keys? I must have left them here somewhere. Maybe I dropped them in the waste basket…” and he proceeded to turn the basket upside down. Then, realizing his public was waiting, turned around, shook my hand, and said, “It gets hot in Red Bluff, I hear.”

            I replied, “Where did you ever get that idea?” We all laughed…and may have bonded for life, except that he died a short time later, and I had no opportunity to advance our relationship. However, I had proximity to an all time great.

            And there is more! I had numerous correspondences with Herb Caen, an interview with the late drummer Buddy Rich…and corresponded with Tom Hanks mother. I tell you, it is all I can do to be humble.

            To double my proximity claims, I am married to a woman who has a personalized autographed photo of Frank Sinatra, as well as an album cover by Mel Torme…and one by Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner.

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The Daily News continues to be entertaining…at least in the Police Logs.

“An anonymous caller reported his ankles are attacked by 10 neighborhood Chihuahuas on a regular basis. And when he brings this up to the owner, the owner becomes upset.”

            Miss Manners replies: “What we have here is a failure to communicate, and an owner of too many Chihuahuas. I suggest the owner hook the little fellows to a dog sled, and run them around the neighborhood for exercise. Failing this, the ankle bitten pedestrian should walk on the other side of the street.”

            Last week’s quiz garnered many responses, but none were correct. The quotes were originally: “Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no fibs.” Goldsmith. “Variety is the very spice of life”. Cowper. “Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink.” Coleridge.   “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” Hale.

            This week’s quiz:  Name the town in Tehama County with the fewest letters. And the town with the most letters?

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            A guy was trying to figure out an invoice offering a 14% discount, so he asked his secretary, “If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?” The blonde secretary thought for a moment and replied, “Everything but my earrings.”

              (to respond to this website: rminchandmurray@hotmail.com)

            The DN of Wednesday announced the passing of one Chester William Brown 80, of Tehama. I had to do some checking to confirm this was indeed my old chum from the Class of 1947. He was part of “the gang” at RBUHS…and we knew him as “Chet” when I was known as “Bobby”. That kind of sets the scene for those good old days.

            Chet was a handsome blond kid and, as such, popular with the “in” crowd. He was full of life with a quick wit… and it is a damn shame to see him go.

            This section of the website was originally intended to extol the virtues and civic activity of those leaders who have long since gone to their reward…but could use another look for those new to our town. I don’t know if Chet filled that description, but he did develop a name for himself and his company working out of a little shop in Los Molinos. He was a gunsmith and his company was and is still called Brown Precision Inc. I imagine his son Mark is running it today.

            Chet just didn’t turn out precision rifles but actually went big game hunting all over the world, on Safari in Africa, for example, to field test them. That was a great distance and a rather amazing step up from a little shop in Tehama County.

            I had been invited down to see his shop about 10 years ago, and was quite impressed with his set up…but mostly relieved to see he had not lost any of the spark and charisma that I remembered from High School. However, nothing is forever, and I learned that he since had experienced health problems and eventually slid into that state of mind we all dread.

            And yet, we shall remember the good times and the good days with Chet when life seemed more easy going and one could concentrate on the next football game or the next dance at Idyllwild, the Veterans Hall or the Four Mile House.

            Maybe, at the end, Chet didn’t remember all the day to day details, but perhaps he could still reflect on those fine days of long ago.

(More excerpts from Minch Market news of this date)

“When Dorothy Craig of Red Bluff was in Klamath Falls, Oregon this summer, she was attracted to some wonderful big black cherries perfectly packed and aligned in rows. Just the thing to send to Bob Rusk and his family, she thought. They certainly ought to appreciate this wonderful Oregon fruit down in Red Bluff. When she started to buy them, however, imagine her surprise to see on the box: ‘These cherries raised and packed by SMITH CROWDER , Red Bluff, Calif.’

            (Night baseball, the first in northern California, mentioned last week, continued)

            “One hundred and twenty 1500 watt lamps in eight banks of power projectors flood Moreing Field in Sacramento with 540,000 candlepower of white light without shadows or glare. They are mounted on the stadium roof and various poles around the field. Under such lighting, baseball retains all of its zip and thrill. On opening night, the Sacramento and Oakland teams played as skillfully and confidently as if it were mid-day. The ball was plainly visible at all times. ”

            “The noisy clanking of milk bottles which wakes millions of people around 4 A.M. every morning, may soon be a thing of the past. Already the Sheffield farms company, one of the largest distributors of milk in New York City, has adopted the new ‘Sealsome’ which promises to accomplish, among other things, the silent delivery of milk. The new container is a cone-like waxed cardboard container, flattened and hermetically sealed at the top. It is used once, and then discarded.”

            “The Pacific Telephone company will soon finish installing a switchboard in our market. If you will follow these directions, it will simplify your call: When calling central, ask for 187. When the girl at the office answers, ‘Minch’s Market’, ask for Meat, grocery, delicatessen, bookkeeper, or deliveryman, and the girl will connect you.”

Dave Minch 1900- 1964

            Poetry in verse is poetry. Poetry in music is lyric. Cole Porter wrote both music and lyrics exceptionally well.

To the song “You’re The Top”:

“At words poetic, I’m so pathetic, that I have always found it best,

Instead of getting ‘em off my chest, to let ‘em rest unexpressed.

I hate parading my serenading as I’ll probably miss a bar,

But if this ditty is not so pretty, at least it’ll tell you how great you are.

You’re the top! You’re the Coliseum.

You’re the top! You’re the Louvre Museum.

You’re a melody from a symphony by Strauss,

You’re a Bendel Bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet, you’re Mickey Mouse.

You’re the Nile, you’re the Tow’r of Pisa,

You’re the smile on the Mona Lisa;

I’m a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,

But if, baby, I’m the bottom, you’re the top!”

Great stuff! Words and music. What a terrific combination.

However, my father’s favorite ditty was perhaps more subtle:

“Bedialia had a baby and she laid it in the grass,

When ‘long came a skeeter…and stung the little baby.”

We all smile when recounting this verse from long ago.

            If you are a baseball filbert…a term used by Herb Caen long ago when referring to fanatical baseball fans, you know of and savor the Dodgers/Giants game last Sunday. If not, the story line should at least prove more interesting than, say, the new tree ordinance designed by the City Council.

            The Ess Eff Giants are rivals of the El Aye Dodgers. Some say “hated” rivals. Both teams are in the National League, Western Division. The Dodgers are leading said division and the Giants are in second place.

            The game was the last of three, the first won by the Giants, the second by the Dodgers. A lot was riding on the outcome of the 3^rd game. The Giant’ ace hurler Tim Lincecum was pitching. Giant fans hoped he would win for them as he has done in the past. The Giants win when they score first. The Dodgers scored first. Drat!

            The Giants had an advantage going into the game. The Dodger’s slugging left fielder, Manny Ramirez had been suspended for 50 games for testing positive for a banned drug. His replacement was a journeyman fielder named Juan Pierre, who stepped up and began getting on base, stealing bases, and driving in runs plus playing spectacular defense in the 3 game series like a latter day Willie Mays. He was unstoppable! Who needed Manny?

            So the stage was set last Sunday for the final game of the series, the runs came in for both teams, the lead see sawed back and forth… and they were all tied up after 9 innings…and  after 10 Innings, then 11 and 12 innings…still tied!

            In the top of the 13^th inning, the Giants started hitting, the bases were loaded, and Randy Winn hit a tie breaking double making the score 7 to 5, and Brain Wilson retired the next three batters to cement the Giant’s win!

             We watched it on the telly in High Defintion. What a day… and what a game!  Herb would have dug it. This was more satisfying than a Best Hamburger Contest.

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            Do you still wear a watch? I do, but primarily for sentimental reasons. It is inscribed on the back with my initials and that of the missus, ending with the cryptic phrase “50 years”. Below that, “Water Resistant & Shock proof”. I guess that refers to the watch rather than the wearer.

            The watch is a Sieko and no longer keeps reliable time. However, I check it with the very reliable time in the right hand corner of my computer screen and adjust it accordingly. I can look elsewhere as well for the correct time i.e. cell phone, car radio, wall clock in the office and digital clocks throughout the scatter. Who needs a watch anymore?

            Grandfather gave father a gold pocket watch, father gave it to me, and I conveyed it on to my son. I suspect it not again see the light of day.

            Watches are apparently becoming passé. Hopefully we are not.

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            Last week’s quiz got a lot of action, but L Merry, an early riser, was first in ending the couplets, “John was Gay, but Gerald Hopkins Manley, Dame May was Witty, but John Greenleaf was Whittier, and Oscar was Wilde, but Thornton was Wilder. J. Yingling thought the answer to the 1^st question should have been someone named “Gayer”. No, John.

            This week’s quiz: Let’s go back to these old clichés, and see if you get them right this time: “Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no_____.”Variety’s the _____of life.” “Water, water, everywhere, ______drop to drink.”  ”I only regret that I have but______for my country.”

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            A blonde was out with her boyfriend when his car broke down. He asked her to check to see if the hazard warning lights were working.  She got out, walked around the back to take a look. “Are they on?” he called. She replied, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes…”

(To respond to this website:  rminchandmurray@hotmail.com)

            Daniel Bayles, 1914-1992, was everyone’s favorite photographer.

As a  strapping 24 year old fellow, over 6 foot tall, he had the misfortune of fighting a fire in a burning church where he was hit by a falling timber that put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. However, he put a good face on his disability and always had a smile for his friends and customers

            Faced with dismal employment potential, he discussed his plight with his wife Elva, and they elected to go into the professional photography business. They quickly developed a following while working out of their house at 1458 Jackson Street, and were eventually able to build and open a new store at 900 Walnut Street as Bayles Studio and Camera Shop. The opening date is noted on a framed photo of a dollar bill in my office. It is inscribed, “THE FIRST DOLLAR. The first sale made in this store was to, Mrs. Evelyn Minch, our friend, and a wonderful person. Thank you, Evelyn…Dan and Elva, July 29, 1952.”

            Dan was the official photographer for Red Bluff High School’s sports program and furnished the photos for all the year books.  Prominent local folks, professional and otherwise, would come to Dan for portrait work.

            As the years rolled by, Dan took up flying, owned his own specially equipped plane, and took many memorable pictures of the northstate. It was therefore doubly tragic that his only son, Francis, a photographer in his own right, would die in a plane crash… too young at 28. The couple, of course, was devastated by their loss, and a spark went out of their lives.

          And yet, they continued in business and eventually developed the Bayles Subdivision west of town. Elva, his ever supportive wife, died in 1975 and Dan, despite his infirmitives, demised in 1992 at the age of 78

            The couple made a multitude of friends during their lifetime, and Dan covered a lot of ground for one who was wheel chair bound for over 50 years.