Tom Siebel is the founder of Siebel Systems  and is a wealthy fellow. As such he is free to travel about the world and have fun. He was on an African Safari recently, and endured the following traumatic event.

            On August 1^st, the balance of his safari decided to take the day off, so Tom and a guide went off to a desert watering hole where a large number of animals gather in the morning such as Cape buffalo, Zebra and a dozen or so juvenile elephants and their mothers. Tom’s basic safari training indicated that if an elephant’s ears are back, relaxed, there is no danger. If an elephant charges, the safest tactic is remain perfectly still. 200 yards from the watering hole, a mother, apparently catching their scent, suddenly deployed her ears, and, in an instant, the 12,000 pound 12 foot high elephant charged! With the animal only a few feet away the guide fired his large caliber rifle into her forehead. This, however, proved to be only small distraction as the animal hit the guide and sent him sprawling, then turned his attention on Tom and proceeded to toss, stomp and gore him. This resulted in a very large gash in his left thigh, a broken tibia and fibula of his right leg, 4 broken ribs…and a black eye. He lay in the field for 3 hours until being airlifted to a Nairobi hospital and stabilized until his 18 hour flight back to the states. His prognosis is good, but he will require more surgeries to reconstruct his right leg.

            I relate this tale as a reminder that one might have plenty of bucks and have his life laid out in front of him as a moveable feast, only to be brought down and nearly killed by the image of his political persuasion. 

* * * * * * *

            For those who care to give the very best, you might give Cliff Larimer a boost rather than a diamond. He is still stranded in Bowman, N.D.58623  at Box 823, and putting his heart into a little flyer titled “The Bowman Voice”.

* * * * * *

 Strange how people can be reviled in life and revered in death. The late Ted Kennedy would like to be remembered as a champion of health care, but he may be better remembered as the lesser Kennedy…and an errant driver.

* * * * * *

            Last week’s quiz was first answered by cousin B Kelsey of Burlingame who knew that Bogart, in “Casablanca” merely said, “Play it” but not “Play it again, Sam.” That Pocahontas father was Powhatan…and that Lt. Roberts threw Captain Morton’s palm tree overboard. However, S. Orner maintains that later on in the movie, Ensign Pulver threw a replacement tree overboard. This I did not remember.

            This week’s quiz is supplied by J. Angelo and it is tough, if not obscure

            The average of one of these lasts 6 seconds. What? This product can be found in 80% of American homes and has at least 2000 uses. Name it. By age 30, 75% of women have tried it. What have they tried?

Correction: I reported Jennie’s Auto Court was once located where Sierra Central Credit is today. K. Heiber straightened me out. On the corner of Main and Adobe was Lou’s Café and the Why Not Club…then Jennies to the north. Sorry about that.

* * * * * *

            Two fleas left a cinema. When they got outside, one turned to the other and said, “Shall we walk or take a dog?”

             An inmate in an asylum proclaimed loudly, “I am Napoleon!”

            “How do you know” asked a fellow inmate.

            “God told me.”

            A voice from the other room shouted, “I did not!

 (to respond to this “column”: rminchandmurray@hotmail.com)

            Near Cordoba, in Mexico, we saw a barber shaving his customer in his front yard. The customer was seated in an ordinary chair facing the mountain. Our guide explained that the charge for being shaved facing the building was 15 centavos, but if the customer faced the mountain, the charge was 25 centavos. At first this seemed foolish, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to be a common human trait. What the customer wanted to do was to impress his friends walking by that he could afford the higher price for his shave.

            We do the same thing every day. How about people who buy in San Francisco and pay much more for the privilege so that when they get home they can say this came from Gumps or Mademoiselle So and So’s.   Thus they can impress their friends that they can afford to shop at expensive stores.

            Goldberg Bowen Company in S.F. sold enormous amounts of groceries in years gone by. One of the main reasons being that they sold at very high prices, and when their delivery truck pulled up in front of a house, it proved to their neighbors they could afford to pay more for their groceries.

            Or how about people who go to the theatre and sit in front row center rather than other seats where they could see and hear just as well and save half the cost of the tickets. Or why do I pay $6.00 to stay at the Sir Frances Drake Hotel when I can get just as nice a room a block away for $3.00?

            Next time you go to some swanky salon to buy that fur coat or drapes or whatever it is, consider just how much you are paying for the privilege of facing mountain scenery. I know that I buy lots of this same scenery myself.

Dave Minch 1900-1964

            A close friend, of 75 years, reports he is suspending his chemo treatments as they make him sick to his stomach, and he consequently experiences a lack of appetite. This is depressing news, especially to us who have not had to endure chemo therapy.  This medical procedure seems worthy of pursuing as it often offers the only hope of survival in a fight against a malignant disease. And yet, if one is to prolong life, when the quality of that life is diminished, then what indeed is the point? Well, for one thing, there is our very strong instinct to survive.  We evolved, in part, by our ability to run from danger…and to climb trees to avoid carnivores intent on feasting on us.  Therefore, perhaps a “giving in” to wasting disease is the better course of valor…especially when putting up the good fight can be so debilitating.

            Whereas my friend is still among the living…and this section of our website is usually devoted to those who are not, it seems necessary to write about him in a prologue rather later an epilogue.

            He was born in 1929, and if all goes well, he will be 80  on October 2^nd, having lived far longer than his father and many of his siblings. So that is an achievement in itself. He was the youngest of 9 children and, in addition to two older brothers, has outlived them all.

            He was an outstanding athlete in high school and excelled in three sports.  After graduation he became an avid golfer, and in later years officiated in basketball and football.

            Despite being blessed with a good sense of humor, he is best described as taciturn. He is even tempered, slow to anger and even laid back. I can only recall him being really upset with the performance of the 49ers and the S.F. Giants to the extent that he refused to watch their games anymore.

            He once said, as a boy, his objective was to live at least to the year 2000. That accomplished, I suspect he has now set another goal. He is  a fine fellow who deserves a good exit. Let’s hope it will be a long time coming.

THE POETRY CORNER for 28 August 2009

“Happy the man, whose wish and care

A few paternal acres bound,

Content to breathe his native air

            In his own ground.

Whose herds with milk, whose fields with bread,

Whose flocks supply him with attire;

Whose trees in summer yield him shade,

            In winter, fire.

Blest, who can unconcernedly find

Hours, days, and years slide soft away

In health of body, peace of mind;

            Quiet by day.

Sound sleep by night; study and ease

Together mixed, sweet recreation,

And innocence, which most does please

            With meditation.

Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;

Thus unlamented let me die,

Steal from the world, and not a stone

            Tell where I lie.”

Alexander Pope

            “Kid’s say the darndest things!” Art Linkletter

            We traveled to Sacamenna for Jacob’s (our great grandson) 1^st birthday. It was a festive occasion, but it was not the cutting of the little shaver’s cake that was the most memorable event.  Grandson Wyatt stole the show. He is 12. He is a handsome youngster with curly hair, wears glasses… and has a studious demeanor.  He engaged a relative of his aunt’s in a rather candid discussion about her smoking.  

Wyatt: Do you smoke?

She: Yes, I do. I’ve smoked since I was 14. I’ve tried to quit, but I am addicted.

Wyatt: You are not going to like what I am about to say.

She: You may speak frankly.

Wyatt: I do not like being around people who smoke.

            Although I was not present during the discussion, the relative reported the conversation later to Wyatt’s mother, and added that she thought he was a very astute young fellow. However, there was a time when a remark like that was rewarded with a slap rather than an accolade.

* * * * * * * *

            Followers of our well travelled columnist Cliff Larimer, may or may not be surprised to learn that he is on the road again. He and wife Betsy have severed relationship with the Bowman. North Dakota newspaper of which he was editor and publisher, and has headed south to Arizona for sunshine and whatnot.  It is a long story…and I could forward his lengthy reasons for his departure to interested parties, but suffice to say he stepped on toes, discovered violations of the Brown Act, and when he exposed the bad guys, they contacted the owner of the paper, a chap who lives in Oregon, and threatened to cancel their advertizing in the Bowman paper unless Cliff was fired. One thing led to another and our intrepid newsman told the owner to stick his comments where the sun don’t shine…and that was that. One might think Cliff’s actions unwise and financially unsound, but knowing this ex Marine takes no crap from anyone, his actions fit his resolve. Years ago there was a radio show in which the announcer proclaimed, “Round and round the merry go round goes…and where it stops, nobody knows!”

            A fitting epilogue for C. Larimer…but he has promised to write if he gets work, if I promised to hang by my thumbs.

                            * * * * * **

            The DN recently disclosed the marriage of one Rachel Marshall to Paul Kordzicowski . This will, of course, cause her to change her stationary etc. When love is in bloom, such changes seem of little consequence, but I will wager it will take some time for her to alter her signature and spell her new name correctly.

            The transition for the missus from Miller to Minch was relatively painless and infinitely rewarding for both parties.

* * * * *

            Last week’s quiz asked for the locations of Minch’s Appliance Store, Hammer and Ohrt Music, Jennie’s Auto Court and Manahan’s Motel…all flourishing in the 50’s. The question was either too difficult or not worthy of response. The location of the appliance store was that of the today’s Gold Exchange, across the alley from the Post Office, the music store where Northern California Title now resides, Jennie’s the site of the new Sierra Credit on north Main, and Manahan’s north of  the Hope Chest on Breckenridge.

            This week’s quiz: What actually did Bogart say to Dooley Wilson regarding the song “As Time Goes By”? What was Pocahontas’ father’s name, and what did Lt. Roberts throw overboard that belonged to Captain Morton in “Mr. Roberts”?

* * * * * *

            “A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.” H.L. Mencken

            While in Mexico, we saw many urns that were used by the Aztecs in their human sacrifices. It was a fad in that civilization and swept the country like fads do ours.

             The historian who traveled with Cortez on his conquest of Mexico, says that in one place, he saw 130,000 skulls of sacrificial victims hanging on racks. Most of these people were sacrificed to the sun to help it in its continual fight with darkness. Captured enemies were used for part of the sacrifices, but a large number were the very finest of their own men and women. It was considered a great honor for a family to have one of their children chosen for sacrifice. The boy or girl had to be between 16 and 18 years of age and exceptionally strong and intelligent. For two months prior to the ceremony, they were allowed anything they wished. They could eat and wear the best, and none of their wishes were denied. When the ceremony commenced, the victim’s hearts were torn out while they were alive.

            The strange thing to me is that parents should welcome the selection of their children for this purpose. It does not seem to me that it could be possible. Surely a civilized people like us would not react that way.  But then I read every few days of how happy some father or mother is that their son has enlisted and how glad they are that he will get to fight the Japs. To me, this fighting, whether by draft or by enlistment, is a duty we owe our country and one that should be accepted without complaint. But the idea of one’s children being sacrificed either for the sun or to the Japs, is not my idea of something to be thankful for.

Dave Minch (1900-1964)

            Ron Koenig went to his reward recently. He was 76 and lived a full life in Red Bluff and Sacramento. The Sacramento Bee did a lengthy obituary before the lethargic Red Bluff Daily News got around to it on Thursday.

            Prior to becoming Sheriff of Tehama County, he was in the 82^nd Airborne  Paratrooper Division and after discharge began a long stint as a California Highway Patrolman from 1958 to 1974 when he successfully ran for Sheriff, a position he held until 1985 when appointed as Chairman of the California Board of Prison Terms. During his 12 year reign thereon, he participated in parole hearings for Charles Manson and Sirhan Sirhan. However, it was another felon’s parole hearing that endeared us to him

            In the middle of the night in 1987, our mother, Evelyn Minch, died at the hands of intruders in her home at 635 Rio Street. One of the two men was apprehended, tried and convicted…and sentenced to life in prison. He should have received the death penalty, of course, but the local Judge at the time, Richard Hultgren, in his infinite wisdom, declined the death penalty in favor of life imprisonment.  John Leslie Borg, 35, was the name of the perpetrator, and had a previous felony conviction. His handprint had placed him at the scene of the crime. Two others, Steven Thompson and Richard Wayne Anderson invoked their 5^th amendment rights while the jury was present and on an improper instruction Hultgren had inadvertently read to the jury. Needless to say, they walked.

            So, the tie in with our old friend Ron Koenig is that he was on the Board of Prison Terms when Borg repeatedly requested parole…and was repeatedly turned down.

            Ron and his wife Pat would stop by our office from time to time when visiting Red Bluff, and we had many things to discuss and many things in common…but the main subject usually went unspoken, and hangs in the air unresolved to this day.

R.I.P. Ron

More poetry from grandfather:

                        A SONG OF WAITING

I was dozing on a morning all alone within my room,

Long ago the sun had banished all the even’s witching gloom,

And while in that restless slumber, which at times will come by day,

When we fall asleep a-thinking and our thoughts are far away;

Lo! I heard the rarest singing in a room the floor below,

And the burden of the music is the strangest thing I know.

And I thought the voice melodious sang all purposely for me.

As I lay it floated upward, “I am waiting—wait for thee.”

Half arising, soft I listened, but alas the song was o’er,

I had left the fairy Dream-land and could never hear it more.

But as from the rocky caverns, waves resound unto the sea,

So there came to me the echo, “I am waiting—wait for thee.”

Quickly down I wrote the wording, ere it passed beyond my ken,

For our dreams are swiftly fading and they seldom come again.

Thus I heard the song of waiting with its untold mystery;

Who in all the world was waiting, who is waiting now for me?

Benjamin Franklin Minch (1869-1936)

            Methinks grandfather had been reading E.A.Poe!

            You will seldom see anything in this column with a philosophical bent. However, living long gives one license to advise without consent. Therefore, I suggest we have added  to our inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, the expectation that our automobile will not only start each day, but convey us, care free, to our destination. We expect this although nowhere is it written that it will be so. As we expect the dawn to break each morning, we expect our mode of transportation to remain intact and at the ready. Apparently automotive technology is so reliable that we become perplexed, incensed, bothered and bewildered (I was going to write “bemildred” but that’s a Pogo character) if we turn the key and the ignition fails to fire.

            That’s about it…your thought for the day. Next time you get in your fliver, pause for a moment and realize you are about to exercise number four of your inalienable rights… if not under the constitution, then under the auspices of “I Say”. If it were not so, I would have told you, to coin a phrase.

            You can take this thought to the bank proving your automobile will start.

* * * * * *

            A fellow I know (who also sports a Darwin Fish on his auto) was on the phone and responded in the affirmative several times with “uh huh”. I asked him if he always uses this expression. He replied, “When I was young, I was taught to say ‘Yes Sir’ or ‘Yes Mam’. I must have slipped into slang over the years and today just say ‘yeah’ or ‘uh huh’.  Either way, it seems to work.”

            I agree. It is certainly preferable to today’s youth responding with “S…yes”, or “S… no.”

* * * * * *

            The “water wall” on the south lawn of the Cone & Kimball Plaza appears o be complete. Although it is fenced with the wrought iron balcony from the old Crocker Bank, it seems, to this viewer, lacking in some fashion. I can’t put my finger on it, but wouldn’t a fountain spray effect have been more inviting on a hot day than a series of spouts? Maybe that is yet to come. On the other hand, the US Bank is progressing nicely and should be finished by the end of the year. As the façade is presently enshrouded in plywood, wouldn’t it be a nice gesture…as a sign of the times, to keep it that way indicating the new frugal and conservative approach to banking. Kind of a no frills establishment?

* * * * * *

            Last week’s quiz asked where was the Concordia Hotel, the Red Bluff Hotel, and the Red Bluff Steam Laundry located in the old days. No one got them all correct. The Concordia was located at 738 Walnut, present home of the Vineland Church. The Red Bluff Hotel at 406 Pine on the north west corner of Washington and Pine, present home of Robertson & Dominick, and The R.B. Steam Laundry at 725-727 Washington, present home of Ron Clark Dental office.

            This week’s quiz: Locate Minch’s Appliance Store, Hammer and Ohrt Music, Jennies’ Auto Court and Manahan’s Motel…all flourishing in the 50’s.

* * * * *

            Heh, heh Department. Story in the DN titled ” McGlynn Memories” about the swimming  pool in the City Park had the following paragraph: “The leak was initially thought to be in the shell of the pool, but further investigation shows tit may be in the gutter system, which would be an easier area to fix.” Actually, if the tit were in the wringer, as is often the case, it would be easier to extract. Tsk, tsk.

* * * * *

            After 30 years of marriage, John said he wanted a divorce. Mary said, “But John,” she pleaded, “how could you after all we’ve been through together?  When you were seriously ill I nursed you back to health, when you lost your job I got one to keep us going, when you were accused of robbery I stood by you, when you lost $10,000. On the horses I sympathized.”

That’s the problem, Mary. Face it, you’re just bad luck.”

(To respond to this blog: rminchandmurray @hotmail.com )

(Last issue we discussed the recall of three Tehama County Supervisors. Here follows (in part…it was lengthy) a Letter to The Editor of the Corning Daily Observer by one of the defrocked  Supes, JoAnn Landingham. It is a prophecy of dire things to come. You be the judge whether she was on or off base when she wrote it.)

“Thank you District 4 for your vote of confidence. The recall was given to me April 18, 1995 for shadowy non specific things, then augmented continuously, for effect, by the Recall committee until the election February 6, 1996.

I would like to make some predictions as to the future and give some warnings. In sadness, I say the future is already here. The news published Friday tells of Carl Malone’ future. He must present himself in court February 14. (Ed. He pleaded not guilty, then coped a plea and resigned)

• 1. The new Board will have a new Director of Public works who will be extremely cooperative with developers. Taxpayers will be required to subsidize the developer’s infrastructures thus permitting developers more profit.
• 2. Rick Robinson: Charges will be checked out and quickly dismissed and he will be permitted to go back and play with the county money and budget.
• 3. George Robson will be chosen head of the Community Development Department, the proposed combination of Planning and Building Departments.
• 4. Celebrity City is on its way, and you can put it on the ballot if you get enough signatures.
• 5. Watch the Water Ordinance! It is at the mercy of the majority of the Board, and it is vulnerable.
• 6. The Sheriff’s Department is in line for a beating. Our Sheriff, Rob Heard, has developed new programs, made major improvements in reorganizing, stayed within budget and provided better protection for the Citizens than we have had in the past. (Sheriff Heard was voted out of office at the next election)
• 7. Every problem in the county will be attempted to be traced back to us for the next four to ten years.
• 8. Are you going to feel sorry for the Veteran’s Halls when their funding is cut and the Halls are closed to the public or will they be consolidated?
• 9. Watch the University Extension and 4H Programs. Supervisor Barbara McKiver wanted to cut them last year.
• 10. Public libraries are in trouble. Last year at budget, McIver wanted extra money to go the Planning Department, not the library.
• 11. Look for public defenders to be supported at a higher level, Mr. McIver benefits from this.
• 12. Last but not least, I predict the people behind our recall are going to continue the pressure on the three of us in an attempt to make them look so bad that no future supervisor will ever try to stand up against them again.

My best wishes for you all, but either you make a dedicated effort to maintain a watchful control of our county assets, or some of the people I have warned you about will do so for you!

JoAnn Landingham. Corning. ”

(Ed. JoAnn warns citizens to maintain a watchful control of our county assets. This is what we did when we booted the Gang of Three from office a long time ago.)