Richard Rayner, in the latest issue of the New Yorker, writes that the late respected biographer, Stephen Ambrose, before publishing a string of #1 bestsellers, including “Band of Brothers”, and “D Day”, had made his name chronicling the life of Dwight D. Eisenhower, and how Ambrose said his life had been transformed by getting to know the former President after spending “hundreds and hundreds of hours” interviewing him over a five year period before Eisenhower’s death in 1969.  However, access to Eisenhower was tightly controlled in his retirement years and his activities were meticulously documented by his executive assistant Robert L. Schulz. These records show that Ambrose interviewed Eisenhower only 3 times for a total of 5 hours… and that the two men were never alone together.  In short the alleged “hundreds and hundreds of hours” of interviews was a bit of self aggrandizement for the benefit of the writer. Such fabrications were meant to bolster the degree of confidentiality he had elicited from his subject. Eisenhower’s son John said that Ambrose had a fondness for embellishment, and had a tendency to sacrifice fact to narrative panache. Why is this important to his readers? Because if Ambrose used artistic license in this instance, did he perhaps also exaggerate other aspects of the famous persons’ life for dramatic effect and the selling of his books? As most biographies are published long after the subject’s demise, who is to say what is fact and what is fiction? Thus the “authorized” biography tends to stand approved as written, while the Kitty Kelly “unauthorized” tabloid type will always raise  eyebrows…which brings us to the delicate subject of the self published books, once referred to as Vanity Press offerings.

If a writer of columns in a newspaper, for example, decides to collect said columns in book form, he may be asking for trouble. As weekly columns are quickly consigned to the trash heap, biased reporting’s and insights may be quickly forgotten.  But once collected and bound for posterity, the writer may unwittingly have cast his leanings in stone. For the writer who vividly bares his soul, his book may be cause for embarrassment or libel suit. If, on the other hand, the writer repeatedly writes innocuous pap, then he has nothing to fear…and may enjoy subsequent book signing events to his heart’s content.

* * * * **

A closely guarded secret has been finally disclosed, and it is now common knowledge that the missus received a hip replacement courtesy of Dr. Borgsmiller one month ago today. As her gait and temperament is rapidly improving, I am allowed to disclose my own recent medical condition. As it is fashionable to use medical shorthand these days, be advised I have been diagnosed as having “S. F.”  aka “skinny feet”, or so says Podiatrist M. Martin. My feet had become tender after prolonged activity in the barn cleaning horse stalls, and she said, over the years, the souls of my feet have lost their padding. Unfortunately, not all physical feats (sorry) are  hereditary. My father was able to walk barefoot through a star thistle field. I shudder just thinking about it.

All is not lost, however. Dr. Martin as has supplied me with artificial padding which will allow me to continue my appointed rounds. Readers may scoff at my discomfort, but remember the cowboy adage: No foot, no horse.

* * **  * *

Betsy, wife of the intrepid Word Merchant C. Larimer, reports that Cliff suffered a stroke and seizure, and had to be transported 180 miles from Bowman to Bismarck, North Dakota. She says he is cranky, depressed and could use some cheering up. If you care to cheer him up by lying to him that you prefer his writing to mine, try llazyl@supernet.com,

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Sources say a transsexual is referred to a “tranny”. At a costume party in El Aye, one such showed up in a Dale Evans outfit and called herself “Tranny Oakley”. Hello?

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Last week’s quiz asked the name of the Phantom of the Opera, the dog with the ring around his eye in the Our Gang series and Popeye’s four nephews. J. Angelo was first in with, in order, Erik, Pete, Peepeye, Pipeye, Poopeye and Pupeye. However, a lively debate ensued via other responders. My source said Erik’s last name was Claudin. And yet it appears the author, Gaston Leroux, did not supply his character with a last name.

This week’s quiz: Each of these items, spelled in this fashion, conveys a meaning or description. For example, “T RN” would translate “No U Turn”. Get it? How about: “wOhNiClEe”, “1T3456″, “HOROBOD” and “GET IT, GET IT, GET IT, GET IT.” Don’t despair; the solutions are right under your nose.

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A man went to an Optician’s office and said, “I keep seeing spots before my eyes.”

The receptionist asked, “Have you seen a doctor?”

The man replied, “No, just spots.”

(To respond to this website: rminchandmurray@hotmail.com)

John Keats, 1795-1821, penned his  famous “Ode On A Grecian Urn” in 1819.  It is lengthy, but concludes:

“When old age shall this generation  waste,

Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe

Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say’st,

‘Beauty is truth, truth beauty…that is all

Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.’”

To which Parker, our Algonquin wit, replied,

“Byron and Shelley and Keats

Were a trio of lyrical treats.

The forehead of Shelley was cluttered with curls,

And Keats never was a descendant of earls,

And Byron walked out with a number of girls,

But it didn’t impair the poetic feats

Of Byron and Shelley,

Of Bryon and Shelley,

Of Byron and Shelley and Keats.”

Dorothy Parker, 1893- 1967.

The United States is losing this war. Japan is not going to wait two or three years for us to get ready. Those 12 ships lost in the naval battle last week are a serious loss. The reason given for the loss is that Japan had more ships in the battle. The reason they had more is that they are only interested in the Pacific Ocean while we have our boats scattered all over the Atlantic and Pacific. Some are going in convoys to Ireland, others taking food and supplies to England and North Africa. Three changes are necessary now or we are not going to remain a free country.

The first is for us to realize we have one major enemy, Japan; get all the men, materials, ships and planes into the Pacific area; attack Japan, and defend our Pacific coast. England and Russia will have to do the best they can with Germany for the time being.

The second thing, all defense work should be placed under the direction of the United States army. This would remove all defense work from the domination of racketeers and would stop all union troubles immediately. Any man who started dissension or slowed down work could be transferred immediately to the fighting front at $21.00 per month. Very few would have to be transferred after they realized that the army would stand for no foolishness.

The third thing needed is to stop all nonsense in connection with the wartime operation of our government. Money spent for fan dancers and coordinators of badminton under the guise of public defense hurts the morale of our people who, now that they are paying income tax, are interested in where their money is going. I do not believe the immediate seriousness of this war is realized yet by those who are responsible for still scattering our men and ships around. The English and Dutch have lost or had captured most of their men, subs, planes and several of their ships in 3 short months. The Japanese could establish a base in Mexico  and endanger our entire coast. The pitiful little army of Mexico is incapable of even slowing up an invading army.

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President Roosevelt was married on St. Patrick’s Day and says he has no trouble remembering his wedding anniversary. I’ll bet the President has no difficulty remembering that he is married, either. And Walter Winchell must have had a hard time filling up his column yesterday when he gave us the astonishing news that “Girls wear much less clothing than men even in the bitterest weather.”

Dave Minch 1900-1964

(In 1973 I wrote of one of our dogs and his encounter with a porcupine)

Tyler, the St. Bernard (we call him by his last name when he has been bad) had a face full of porcupine quills. His muzzle was shrouded in quills like frost on an Eskimo’s parka. He said that it didn’t hurt, and furthermore, he was going back to the creek bed and finish the job. “Oh no you don’t,” I said, “its Dr. Bob for you, you jerk!”

I called Dr. Stouffer. It was 10 at night. “He said, “What’s up?”

I said, “You mean, what’s in. It’s porcupine time down south.”

“Oh God,” he moaned, “not again!”

When we arrived at the clinic and dragged Toby into an exam room, the missus wondered aloud how we would get the very muddy 200 pounder on to the table and then make him hold still. “We will call AAA for a wrecker if necessary,” I muttered, “and then get his attention with a two by four if required!”

With much grunting and heaving, we managed to get the big fellow on the exam table. Doctor Bob then gave him a shot big enough to knock out a horse…which he is, and then went to work pulling out the quills.

An hour and half later, we had filled up 4 pans that contained hundreds of quills. It was too late for an accurate count, and the good doctor promised not to charge by the quill.

A few days later, the Saint was as good as new…and thinking of raising hell once again…and I was thinking of raising hamsters.

You remember C. Larimer…The Word Merchant…late of the Daily News and more recently late of a weekly in Bowman, North Dakota? Sure you do. Clever fellow, but tending to burn bridges behind him? That’s our Cliffy.

Well, he was fired from the Bowman paper because they told him to cease certain local political investigations…and he told them to stuff it. He hung around Bowman long enough to put out a weekly flyer in hopes of starting up his own paper, but it was not to be. So he and Betsy decided to pack up and head for warmer climes…and then he fell down.

Betsy had fallen on the ice and broke a hip last winter, and it was touch and go for awhile, but now she appears to be on the mend and ready for their next landing in the southwest where they rarely slip on ice.

Cliff had fallen a couple of times…found himself on the deck and wondering why, so finally had a checkup. The hospital determined he had a blocked carotid artery. I’ll let him tell the rest of the story.

“A vascular surgeon went in on the 6^th of April after determining there was just enough passage (only 99% blocked!) in the right artery along with 90 % on the left one. He scraped out the crud, and said he would wait 5 weeks and then do the left one. He said I might not fall over from a stroke, but instead live to hang or be shot…a far more romantic ending. Three days in the hospital in intensive care. Fun. The real torture was for Betsy who had to spend three nights in Motel 6 where the television didn’t get MSNBC or FOX NEWS, just 6 sports channels and the Cartoon Network. Anyway, I am recuperating and looking a lot like Jersey Joe Walcott after Rocky Marciano beat the hell out of him in their second fight. We are optimistic but not quite out of the woods…or North Dakota …yet. Thanks for caring, y’all. I’ll be sending a few notes the next few days to many who took the time to let Betsy and me know of your concern. Cliff.”

As of the 19^th, he reports that his progress has been slow, but they expect to be in Huston, Texas by mid-June.  I guess that is all we can expect from the peripatetic fellow.

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At the Roundup, Sunday, I sat in the expensive seats over the chutes and got a firsthand look at what the cowboys do when looking for excitement. They hang onto a rope or a child’s size saddle or a bronc riding saddle, jam their gloved hand into a slot, pound around on it to make sure it is tight…then nod their head, the gate man pulls a lever, and all hell breaks loose. Many of the riders had their arms bandaged or in casts, and if they bucked off, they got up clutching their arm and probably wondering why they chose this sport in the first place. It is a grim, violent vocation and one would think a successful rider would make a tough marine in battle. I admire their fortitude and ability to take punishment to earn a living. I bucked off a horse many years ago and lit on unforgiving ground. I knew then that I had didn’t have the stuff to be a cowboy, professional or otherwise.

I thought it was a very good show and went off without a hitch. 5 female trick riders performed nearly every stunt I’ve ever seen men do in the past. The only stunt they did not try was Paul St. Croix’s famous crawl, at full gallop, from one side of the horse to the other via the horse’s belly. But then Paul was one of a kind. I was disappointed with the clowns, however. Not with their keeping the bulls away from the down riders, of course, but the bit of business one of them was doing between the events such as hitting a tennis ball over the grandstand or into the crowd. In the old days, Homer Holcomb had a trained donkey that would keep the audience amused …and other clowns had dogs that would herd ducks etc. As they were not wired for comments back then, much of their stuff was visual, and I never got tired of their corny routines such as one thinking he had found a wallet out in the arena, only to be disgusted by discovering it just one more piece of horse manure. Ah…those were the days.

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Last week’s quiz was promptly answered by S. Orner who knew that Albert of Saxe-Coburg became Prince Albert, Consort to Queen Victoria and Domenico Teotocoulo became El Greco. Speaking of the Prince, he fathered the Queen’s 9 children, which would not be fashionable today.

This week’s quiz: What was the name of the Phantom of The Opera, the name of the dog with a ring around his eye in the Our Gang series, and Popeye’s four nephews?

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A man in a restaurant in Madrid ordered the house specialty and was served a plate with potatoes, corn and two large meaty objects. He inquired as to the objects and the waiter said, “They are cojones of the bull,” and explained that when a bull looses in the Bull Ring, his testicles are sold in restaurants as a delicacy.

The patron enjoyed them so much he ordered them again the next evening. This time, however, the cojones were much smaller. When asked why, the waiter responded, “Ah yes, senor, but you see, the bull does not lose every time!”

(To respond to this website: rminchandmurray@hotmail. com)

I did not realize it at the time, but I was probably witnessing steroid rage.

Correspondence between landlord, landlord’s agent (me) and tenant occurred between 1979 and 1983.

The first letter was from the tenant who was a body builder, had his hair dyed blonde and wore one of the first gold chains around his thick neck. He was upset that the landlord had come into his shop to get his sales figures for the past year. The tenant had agreed to a percentage lease…that is, he paid either a minimum rent or an increased rent via his sales.  We shall refer to them as tenant Mr. Edgar Smith writing to his landlord Mr. Hyrum Jones.

“April  1979. Dear Mr. Jones: I prefer you do not come into my shop to get sales figures, personally, any longer, but, as prescribed in my lease, I will mail them to you quarterly. My employees have been instructed accordingly. Please inform me as to the next date they will be due and which months they will include.  (signed) Edgar Smith”

“May 1980. Dear Mr. Jones: My attorney has read my lease and advised me there are no provisions in this lease giving you right of audit without my permission. However, if you care to phone me, and request permission, I feel I could convince you that you are going about this all wrong. (signed) John Smith”

“January 1981. Hyrum: I keep telling myself that you behaved in an irresponsible, semi-dishonest way with me; that I can outmaneuver you and stay beyond the range of legal artillery. I can even tell myself that that I am less than fair, strong and just, if I don’t step on your toes to teach you a lesson. I can tell myself, but I can’t believe that it’s right to end up with more than I am entitled to, no matter what you did. I’m not kind of person. I’m not coming down to your level, Hyrum. I therefore am having my secretary correct our former “clerical errors” and send you a proper accounting along with the money I owe you, every cent. You be any kind of person you want to be, keep it all. (signed) Edgar Smith”

“April 1981. Dear Edgar: Thank you for your letter of January 1981. So far we have not received the money and sales reporting. If it was lost in the mail, we would appreciate receiving a copy. We are interested in bringing this matter up to date. Your early attention will be appreciated. (signed) Hyrum Jones.” (Note: written across the bottom of this letter in bold print was a reply from the recipient: “THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF THIS LETTER IS TYPICAL JONES BULLSHIT. HOW EVASIVE AND OFF THE REAL ISSUE CAN YOU GET?”)

“March 1982. Dear Mr. Jones: Regarding your letter concerning our rent at our Red Bluff store, due to a fire in our storeroom, many of our files have been destroyed. Please send me copies of the last gross reportings and payments to you so we may upgrade our files and continue to report to you from time to time. Also, we are in the process of an IRS audit and there seems to be some question as to who claimed the capital investment credit on leasehold improvements. Did you also claim them? (signed) Mrs. Swensen, Office Manager.”

Note: The landlord feels it is time to have an audit of Smith’s books, so he instructs his attorney to demand such. In September of 1982 correspondence with tenant’s attorney indicates a completed audit has shown $12,016.00 is owed the landlord. The following is an excerpt from a  recollection of landlord’s agent’s conversations with tenant in his shop, in September of 1982:

Minch: Hello Mr. Smith, how are you?

Smith: I would like you to meet my right hand man, Stan. He is actually my gardener but I am grooming him to take over for me…he’s going to be learning the ropes. What are we going to do with all this stuff? (pointing to chairs, desks etc.) Do you have a tenant to take over when we move out?

Minch: We have several interested parties, yes, but we could not make any arrangements because we did not know what your plans are…the lease expires November of this year, and…

Smith (turning to Stan) You know, Stan, this need never to have happened. If we had just communicated with one another…you know, I bared my soul…I confessed my sins to Jones and he…he just shit on me! He was not man enough…I was man enough to admit we had a problem but he…(now waving his arms in circles) the whole thing didn’t need to happen…if he…you know, Bob…I have to think you were to gentle with Smith…you didn’t tell him how I felt about the whole thing…you didn’t tell him how strongly I take things…you see…now you let me get crazy on you, and you didn’t tell Jones just how dangerous the situation was! What did you tell him…just exactly what did you tell him…how upset I was and what I would do…?

Minch: What do you think I told him?

Smith: (now getting very red in the face and gesturing wildly) Listen! If that stingy sonofabitch thinks he is getting the $9,000….if he thinks, you know, in a court of law he may get the $9,000 but in a higher court…God will punish him. I am an atheist, but, Stan, you believe in God don’t you?…of course you do, and if Jones gets one penny from me, I will get back double from that sonofabitch! I’ll tell you right now, as God is my witness…something awful will happen to him!

Minch: Edgar…you should not say things like that!

At this point, the tenant stomped out the door claiming I had “got him crazy again…” We thought this would be the final communication, but when Smith received a  letter in January of 1983 informing him that he still owed $67.00 for his pro rata share of common area maintenance, he got the final word scrawled on the bottom of the demand: “  Apparently Bob Minch failed to communicate my message to you. I suggest you call him immediately! I meant every word! This is the last goddamn time I will tolerate one postcard from you!. Erase me from your books and memory…or you will regret it! (signed) E. Smith

Robert Minch

(Diary entry by Dave Minch, 2 March 1933)

“Today the whole country was astounded to hear that Governor Rolph has declared a three day bank holiday. There was consternation everywhere. Some of the big grocery chains had orders not to cash any checks under any circumstance.  There is lots of excitement in town but very little currency. We have only $200.00 ourselves.

March 6 1933: President Roosevelt was inaugurated Saturday and every bank in the United States closed except Delaware. So immediately after being sworn in, he proclaimed a four day national holiday. No schools, no courts, no county or state offices would be open.

March 8: Governor Rolph proclaimed a holiday for the rest of the week. Banks may not open next week.

March 17: Banks finally opened and business is trying to get back to normal. One thing we learned during this emergency was how necessary banks are to a community. Incidentally, Red Bluff was one of the few towns in which no depositor lost money because of bank failure, although I believe only the quick arrival of a plane from San Francisco one day kept us from having this catastrophe. I used to think that local banks were closer to community needs and knew the needs and worth of local citizens better than the big chain banks. But this emergency proved to me that the chain banks, with their unlimited reserves, are best for any community.                                                                                * * * * * *

If you really want to do something worthwhile, buy a ticket to the Chinese Relief Tea being held at Dr. Cahoone Yuen ‘s home on the east end of Walnut Street. If you are fortunate, you may win the camphorwood chest, and if you don’t, you have the satisfaction of helping a worthy cause. The United States has few allies that are as anxious to win this war as the Chinese. We have some allies who would like to win it by talking while we do the actual fighting, but the Chinese are anxious to fight, and all they ask is something to fight with. You can depend on it that 100 percent of money taken in on this tea will be forwarded to China.”

Leigh Hunt (1784-1859)was a poet, critic and pal of Shelley and Lord Byron. He wrote a plethora of poems amongst which “Jenny Kiss’d Me” and “Abou Ben Adhem” stand out. As an aside, I always thought that Abou Ben was “Adam” rather than “Adhem”…but I was not very scholarly in school.

“Jenny kiss’d me when we met, jumping from the chair she sat in;

Time, you thief, who love to get sweets into your list, put that in!

Say I’m weary, say I’m sad, say that health and wealth have miss’d me,

Say I’m growing old, but add, Jenny kiss’d me.”     And…

“Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)

Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,

And saw, within the moonlight in his room,

Making it rich like a lily in bloom,

An angel writing in a book of gold:

Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,

And to the presence in the room he said,

‘What writest thou?’ The vision rais’d its head,

And with a look made of all sweet accord,

Answer’d , ‘The names of those who love the Lord.’

‘And is mine one?’ said Abou. ‘Nay, not so,’

Replied the angel. Abou spoke more low,

But cheerily still; and said ‘I pray thee, then,

Write me as one that loves his fellow men.’

The angel wrote and vanish’d. The next night

It came again with a great waking light,

And show’d the names whom love of God had blest,

And lo! Ben Adhem’s name led all the rest.”

The Red Bluff Roundup is upon us once again, and it is hoped that the weather will cooperate. April is usually a benign month with dry times in store. However, as this El Nino year has proven to be wet so far, a good drenching could diminish ticket sales which may already be threatened by the economy. There are fingers crossed hereabouts. In the event you will be a no show, I’ve included in THE PASSING PARADE section of this blog a reprint of the article I did for the Souvenir Roundup Brochure. George Froome and Mike Growney answered questions I had poised and think you will find it all a pleasant read.

* * * * * *

An amusing set of box ads in the DN: Cheers Barber Shop is advertizing $6.00 haircuts for seniors. However, the Oak Street Barber Shop got into the act with a box ad reading “I fix $6.00 haircuts.” Clever.

* * * * *

Also in the DN, police report section, a man was told by a Valero customer Tuesday morning that someone had urinated on his car. I read this article to Little Bert and Murray Clyde…and both denied any knowledge of the effrontery. They were asleep at the ranch and nowhere near a Valero Station. In this same section of the paper, a Red Bluff man traveled to meet a fellow in Willows, and was assaulted for his effort. As the assailant was described as being 6 foot 4 inches tall…and weighing 400 pounds, this was probably not a good travel choice for the victim.

* * * * * * *

Our good friend, retired attorney E. Hedlund, basking in the warmth of April in Eureka…which is certainly not like April in Paris, sent our way an article about the latest fad… home butchering. This enterprise assumes the slaughter is performed elsewhere, and all the home chef needs to do is to fabricate primal cuts…or even whole carcass of lamb or pig, in the middle of one’s kitchen. From years of experience in the wholesale meat business, I would urge kids not to try this at home. It is a messy enterprise and a fledgling meat cutter could get cut.

What a lamb…strike that, lame brained idea. Tsk, tsk.

* * * * **

Sources say the religious affiliations of the current Supreme Court consists of 5 Catholics, 2 Jewish, 1 Episcopalian and 1 Protestant. What do you make of this? Is this a Catholic majority conspiracy for Dan Brown to use in his next Da Vinci Code sequel…or are we just fascinated with the big church per se?

* * * **

Last week’s quiz, a repeat of the previous week, was finally answered by G.A. Frey who knew that Ingenious means clever, ingenuous is characterized by an inability to mask one’s feelings, not deviously, that the DN misspelled Mozart’s name by putting a “t” after the “o’…and that C. Robert Laxson was a music professor at Chico State who had an auditorium named after him. S. Sale, a former student of C. Robert, knew the fellow well, but declined comment on the rest of the quiz and therefore was issued an incomplete.

This week’s quiz: Some famous people made a good career move by changing  their name. Archie Leach becoming Cary Grant is a good example. But how about Albert  of Saxe-Coburg,  and Domenico Teotocopulo? Eh?

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A young woman appeared in court on a public disorder charge. The prosecutor said, “Is it true that on 3 February you committed a gross indecency with a one legged dwarf and a donkey on the roof of a car while traveling through the center of New York at 100 mph in a blizzard?”

The woman turned to the prosecutor and said, “What was that date again?”

(To respond to this website: rminchandmurray@hotmail.com)

(Here is an excerpt from an article appearing in this year’s Official Roundup Souvenir Brochure)

I SAY, AGAIN, AT THE RED BLUFF ROUNDUP.

To test your knowledge of roundup lore, let’s pose some questions to a couple of authorities on this matter:  Mike Growney, Board and Arena Director and retired bull rider, and George Froome, retired educator, on the Board of Directors since 1986 and author of “A 75 Year History of The Red Bluff Roundup.”

Q.  Some events appear to be dangerous at times. From an accident standpoint, which events are most injurious to the contestants?

Mike:  Bull Riding. A rider can get hooked by horns, if any, and trampled if bucked off. In Bareback Riding, a rider wedges his hand into the riggin’…and if he’s a right hander, and bucks off on the left side, he could get hung up with all his weight on his arm, which could cause great injury. In saddle bronc riding, getting your boot stuck in the stirrup is bad news also.

George: Agreed.

Q. Why do some cowboys keep coming back for more when others get busted up early?

Mike: Roping events seem to let the cowboys compete for a few years longer, but they still have to be well mounted; “A good horse makes for a good time”. There is less chance of getting busted up in the timed events.

George: It’s the rough stock events that shorten careers.

Q. Motorcycle riders are required to wear helmets. Are rodeo riders required to wear any protective clothing or headgear?

George:  Some wear helmets with face masks and some use protective vests.

Q.Would you personally prefer to ride a bike or a bull?

Mike: I’m 56 years young and even a bike is scary to ride at my age. When I was younger, I rode bulls for 15 years and once split a 3-4 place with Larry Mahan. I won all of $300.00!

Q. You’re one up on me. I have never split a purse with Larry Mahan…but, George, Bull riding was not an early day event. When did they enter the shows?

George:  The first riders rode Hereford bulls and steers. Brahmas were introduced in the late 1930’s and were cross bred with Angus cattle.

Q. The wild horse race looks like it’s for only the very tough and the very foolhardy. Do contestants have to fortify themselves with Gatorade or something?

Mike:  Now days the event is called Team Bronc Riding and contestants are quite serious about it, so no courage from the bottle is needed.

Q. Do contestants carry insurance?

Mike: Some do if they can afford it, but the Professional Cowboy Association provides insurance as part of their dues.

Q. Do you think President Obama’s New Health Plan will include cowboy contestants? Should he enter the Wild Horse Race before making up his mind?

Mike: Well, he’s been in many a race, but I’m not sure if they were wild. Rumor has it that Olympic racer Lindsey Vonn was stripped of her gold medal.

Q. I don’t see what that has to do…

Mike:  The Olympic Committee is giving her medal to President Obama because he’s going downhill faster.

George: I have suggestions for President Obama, but the Wild Horse race is not one of them.

Q.  Gentlemen, please! Moving along, which of you two is the most knowledgeable regarding the Red Bluff Roundup…and who is the tallest?

Mike: George Froome has probably forgotten more about rodeo history than I will ever know. I had him for a history teacher in the 8^th grade….and as who’s the tallest; I look up to George in more ways than one.

George: I saw my first Red Bluff Roundup in 1934 and have not missed one since. There’s not a chance that a car salesman  knows more than I do about the Roundup. I am considerably taller than Mike….and you too, for that matter.

Q. Name the top 5 bronc riders you’ve seen at the Red Bluff Roundup.

Mike: That’s a tough one… Most gold buckle riders at the National Finals have competed in Red Bluff. Casey Tibbs, Billy Etbaure, Dan Mortensen, Monty “Hawk Eye” Hanson are just a few names that come to mind.

George: And add Perry Ivory, Fritz Truan, and Bill Linderman,

Q. And your top five bull riders?

Mike: Again, tough question, but you can’t mention bull riders without Lane Frost at the top of the list…then add, say, Ty Murray, Don Gay, Larry Mahan, Jim Shoulders…and, oh yeah, Red Rock!

George: Plus Harry Tompkins, Ted Nuce and Tuff Hedeman.

endman HenH

Q. Top 5 entertainers?

Mike: Juanquin Sanchez, Wilbur Plaugher, Felix Cooper and Homer Holcomb.

George:  Slim Pickens, Paul and Marie St. Croix, the One Armed Bandit and Flint Rasmussen.

Thank you gentlemen…and now, on with the show!

Robert Minch